As single moms, “worry” is our middle name! I remember one morning, I was worrying over what groceries I’m running low on, when I would help one of my children with his schoolwork, while also worrying over how we’re going to make it until my next paycheck. These worries would overwhelm me, as if I was the target of a never-ending assault. These worries bombard our brains, leaving us feeling defeated and hopeless. However, we’re going to end that painful cycle.
As successful singles, we have a lot of living to do, and worry does not need to occupy any of our brain space. The secret I have found to decrease worry is to have a plan. Here are the 3 Steps to build your plan and eliminate worry:
Step 1: Create a Gratitude List
Creating a gratitude list is simply grabbing a sheet of paper and writing down everything you are grateful for. Here’s my list you can use as examples for your own list. I’m thankful for:
- my family
- my children
- my home
- my job
- my blog and outreach,
- where God has placed me in life
- peace after the latest legal battle
Step 2: List your Pain Points
After creating the gratitude list, list out the pain points. If you can say “yes” to the following three questions, place it on your list of pain points:
- Does this problem occur frequently?
- Does this issue cause difficulty for you or your family?
- Does the impact of this problem affect other areas of your life?
Take your gratitude list and your list of pain points to address our last step.
Step 3: Find a Solution with a Deadline
Now, let’s find solutions to these problems. For many single moms, you might struggle with managing your time, getting it all done, or sticking to a budget. Here are three possible solutions to these common problems:
Example 1: “I feel as if I have no control over my time.”
- Solution: I will create a weekly schedule by [enter a date] and place it on Google calendar as well as on my kitchen refrigerator so it is always accessible to me. (What I have recently used is a concept called ‘My Ideal Week’ from Michael Hyatt. Click here to read more about it).
Example 2: “As hard as I try, I cannot get everything done.”
- Solution: I admit I am trying to do more than I am capable of doing. I must understand that I am only one person. I will make a list of all activities I am currently doing by [enter a date]. I will then schedule one hour of time with myself to place a “K” or “D” beside each activity, determining if I K=Keep doing the activity or D=Delegate the activity. I will complete this exercise by [enter a date].
Example 3: “I need to create and stick to a budget that works for me.”
- Solution: I will start by being grateful that as a single mom, I have complete and total control over how I spend my money. I will sign up for Mint.com, a free service that easily tracks my spending and helps me see how I can improve. I will set up Mint.com by [enter a date] and set a time on my calendar weekly to review my spending.”
I hope this gives you some good ideas as you work through your own list. Make that list of pain points, list out the solutions, give them deadlines, post them where you will see them each day and go to work! Let me know about your accomplishments!
Question: What are some other strategies you have learned to help eliminate worry?