Hello there, dear reader. I am so, so sorry. I am so sorry for everything you are going through. Relationships can be the most rewarding experiences of life, however they can also be the most heart wrenching. If you have been cheated on, abandoned, or abused, my heart goes out to you. I am truly sorry for your loss. If you are currently in an abusive situation and are afraid for the safety of yourself or your children, read on. I want to help you with the following tips:
Tip 1: Quickly Prepare
If you are being threatened, abused or otherwise feeling unsafe in your current environment, please do the following as soon as possible:
- Think Strategically. Does this person continue to abuse, humiliate or threaten you despite your repeated attempts for it to stop? Does this person say one thing to a counselor and another to you? Draw a line in the sand TODAY and think strategically about your next move. It is a vital decision.
- Pack your Bags. Part of your decision might be to seek a safer environment for you and your family. Create your escape plan. Make sure all vital records belonging to you or your children are packed with you in a safe place. Pack any cash you have in the house.
- Locate and Move to a safe place. This might be a friend or family member’s home. It could also be a hotel or other secure location. If staying in a hotel, make sure to find a place with doors on the inside vs. the outside of the building. Even better, attempt to reserve a hotel that requires a guest room key to access the guest room floors. Make sure a safe person knows your whereabouts and can get in touch with you if needed.
Tip 2: Find a Safe Person
Safe people are important in a crisis situation. They will ensure that your whereabouts are kept private if needed and will ensure your best interests. This is an excellent read on how to identify a safe person. Ensure that your safe person is very level headed and more removed from the situation. You want someone that can think clearly in a crisis. You don’t want someone that is going to add to your stress and anxiety.
Tip 3: Consult an Attorney
This is perhaps the hardest or scariest decision you will ever make, but it is wise to consult an attorney if any of the following has happened:
- You are afraid of living with your spouse or are afraid of being harmed by him
- You are concerned that he/she will injure and abuse the children
- Your spouse brings extramarital affair partners to your home and/or has them around the children
- Your spouse has removed all money from the bank accounts, stolen your identity, or has left you in a desperate financial position
- Your spouse is currently addicted to alcohol, drugs or pornography and refuses to enter a treatment program
Before consulting with an attorney, it is important that you take some time to prepare for the meeting. Though it is difficult, make a list of the offenses and the concerns. Be honest about any past and current abuse. Do not feel bad about telling the truth about what has been happening in your home! It is important and wise to understand your legal rights. Also understand the legal fees associated with representation should you decide to move forward.
In the Eye of the Storm
I wish these words were not necessary to type, but in our broken world, these things must be discussed and shared. I wish I had never walked this path, but I am committed to helping as many people as I can through this journey so you know that you are NOT ALONE. No matter what anyone has said about you, please know these truths:
- You are a child of God: “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” John 1:12
- You are special and unique to God: ““Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
- You were made to be free: “1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1
If you need legal assistance, or any guidance as you walk this path, please email me at email@example.com. Enjoy this song as you walk through “The Eye of the Storm”, believing God is holding your hand, making a way for you. I promise, dear reader, He will protect you each step of the way. You might not see it now, but stand and believe!