Welcome to the first in a new series called “I’m Not Going Down”. This series is a hard-hitting series for single moms who are tired of feeling like they are stuck on a merry-go-round. This is for moms who want to live an incredible, exciting life, allowing their past difficulties to fuel them towards their true purpose and fulfillment. These moms do not want to stay on the sidelines of their lives, but they want to take charge, setting goals in all areas of life and then crushing them. This series will focus on the potholes and detours we must be aware of that can stop our progress. We don’t have a moment to waste, so let’s get started!
All of us live physically in the present, but mentally many of us live in the past. Our minds dwell on the past and everything that happened. We look at our life now and the wrongs done to us, and immediately move to a posture of blame. IT’S SO EASY TO BLAME OTHER PEOPLE. It’s so easy for us to keep them responsible for us, for our lives and for our welfare now. Maybe you had a nasty divorce. Maybe your ex doesn’t pay child support. Maybe their father isn’t even in the picture. Maybe he’s in their life, but he’s a terrible person and someone you still hate being around. Sometimes we experience trauma, and one day we realize we still haven’t moved past it. We are stuck in our lives because we stuck in a habit of blame.
Here are some reasons why you must rid your life once and for all of blame.
You are Responsible for You, Nobody Else
Yes, this series is hard love, but it’s true. You are completely and totally responsible for you. Nobody else. That means that it includes you and your children, your entire family. God would not have given you children if He wouldn’t have planned a way to help you provide for them. Dear reader, you can do anything and everything required to walk up this mountain. You must realize that as a new friend told me, God gives his most difficult battles to his strongest warriors. Look in the mirror. He’s picked you. So stand up, keep walking, keep working that 8-5, kiss those little ones goodnight and head back downstairs to work on your other businesses. That is what I do. Is it hard? Yeah, it’s hard, but you are worth it. They are worth it. Take care of yourself. Feel that sense of pride. That is something that nobody can take away from you.
Give Others the Freedom to Choose
As we’ve discussed recently in another post, the most freeing thing you can do for yourself is to allow others the freedom to choose. You might be facing a significant court battle right now with no way to pay the attorney’s fees. You might have nothing but constant drama. You might be stuck in an impossible situation. Remember, though, no matter how bad it gets, you can always choose to be part of the problem, or choose to rise above it. If your spouse cheated, that was their choice, not yours. If you were abused, that was their choice, not yours. If you have a dead beat or absent parent you are dealing with, that is their choice, not yours! Do not worry, become anxious or try and impact someone else’s choices. It is one of the hardest things we must do, but you must take your hands off of the wheel of someone else’s life and commit 100% to living your own.
Set and Accomplish a Goal
Once you’ve determined to accept responsibility for yourself and let go of the desire to control someone else’s rightful choices, the best thing you can do is MOVE ON.
The single most important thing you can do for yourself and your children is to turn the page on this chapter of your life, move on and never look back.
Your future is out there waiting for you! Are you stuck in the same old rut? Do you have any goals currently? Or are they written out yet stashed in some unknown area of your house? Get out a sheet of paper and make a goal for yourself. Do this now! What do you want to change in 3 months? 6 months?
My goals currently are specifics surrounding my businesses with Thirty-One and my personal blog and resources. I will accomplish my goals, because I pray about all of this and I have been given a passion for women and the heartbreaking struggles we face. I love it because it’s up to me and God now. I love it because I have let go of the blame that kept me stuck for so long. You can too! Give up blaming for good. Blame does nothing but rob your soul. Accept your past, love your present and set goals for your future. The great news is, the dark clouds of of our lives always give way to the light. The rest of your story? It’s waiting for you. YOU are the only one that can live it!
What do you find yourself blaming others about the most?