Does it ever feel that your single mom life is similar to riding on a roller coaster? Just when you think you’ve got this new life figured out, another challenge presents itself. It feels like one circumstance after the next chases after you until you feel that you will never outrun the trials and difficulties that this new life brings.
Well, I’ve got some good news for you. You have a choice in how you are going to handle this. You can choose what you allow to enter your mind. Let’s discuss these 3 Tips to ensuring you set your mind on the things that matter.
Let Go of the Guilt
Yep, I know you feel that you’re a complete mess. I remember feeling that same way. Sometimes I still feel like a mess! Take this week for instance. My children are spending some time with their dad this summer. I feel guilty about that. Why? I guess just feelings that I wanted their lives to be different. Before I know it, I’m dwelling on the past, what their lives would look like if things were different and replaying a million different scenarios in my mind.
Allowing yourself to feel guilty is a waste of time. If you are legitimately not a good parent or not spending enough time with your kids, then guilt is a way that God might be speaking to you about that. But misplaced guilt is what most of us get hung up on. We want everything in everyone’s lives to be okay, and in a broken and fallen world, well, sorry, but that’s just not possible. When your kids are away at the other parent’s, be happy they are having fun and make sure you are busy with other activities like enjoying a new hobby, going on a date or busying yourself with a home improvement project. Do not allow misplaced guilty feelings to rob you of peace.
Try to Live in Peace with Everyone
This little tip is coming straight to you from the wonderful book of Hebrews:
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy
Please read this again and again until it sinks into your heart and spirit, mama. You are not in complete control whether or not you can have a peaceful relationship with your children’s other parent. However, you are in control of yourself. You are not to provoke or retaliate against anyone, no matter how justified you believe you are in your actions. No matter the cause of past conflict, starting today you must do everything you can to live at peace with everyone. This does not mean that you WILL live in peace with everyone; it just means that at the end of each day, you can be proud that you did everything you can to have healthy relationships with others.
Recognize the Good is Coming
I remember thinking that there could be nothing good to come out of my single mom situation. I remember doubting God’s love for me. I remember wondering if He even saw me, if He even knew what was going on in my life. Remember, God doesn’t do evil, but He does allow evil into our world. Whether we can ever fully comprehend his reasons I’m not sure, but one thing I do know from the Bible is in many situations, he used the most dire situations to work his finest miracles.
So if you feel like one bad thing after the next starts piling on you, that is your key to just get your mind focused on good things, and start to pray like you’ve never prayed before. God will bring good out of this situation, but you need to trust him for it. Ask him to help you believe. I will be sharing many stories of my experiences in our next series to help you in your journey.
In summary, remember to:
- Let go of the guilt
- Try to live peacefully with everyone in your life
- Trust God that good will come out of this
Hang on, mama. Love on those babies of yours, and keep a journal handy. Why? Because you just might be something good that will come out of your situation in the very near future.
Do you have trouble believing if God sees you? Why or why not?